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January 2010 E-News Topics
Communication Tip: NVC live! E-mail not always the best choice.
Parenting Tip: The "OF NEEDS" Tool
Upcoming: Nonviolent Communication/Parenting Events and Classes

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Communication Tip: NVC live! E-mail not always the best choice.
In this era of electronic communication, it can be tempting to conduct all our affairs by email or text. For connecting communication, face-to-face is best, phone call (not a message) is next, and email/text is last. Body language and voice tone carry rich signals, often below our conscious level, about how a person is feeling and how they are responding to you. Email or phone messages, because they are not interactive in real time, can allow a simple misunderstanding to fester into a full-blown resentment. Even the best relationships can use some voice and face time for richer connection. Yes, there is a place for a well thought out letter or email when you have difficult things to express. If you want to communicate that way, try having a giraffe friend proofread for you. What about connecting with people who live far away? I made a free video call to my niece in Mexico using Skype, and still treasure her smiles and expansive gestures. Another tip: never hit the "send" button when you are emotionally triggered! Sleep on it.

Parenting Tip: The "OF NEEDS" Tool
If you have attended one of my workshops, you are probably familiar with the four components of Nonviolent Communication: Observation, Feeling, Need, and Request. Parents often wonder how to apply this tool with small persons. Susan Goldberg at CNVEP has developed the acronym "OF NEEDS" for parents to apply a nonviolent philosophy with kids. Observe the situation, identify Feelings and Needs (yours and the child's), then Empathize (silently) with your child, Engage with them (verbally or nonverbally, for empathy, understanding, and connection), and Develop Solutions (or at least new approaches). Yes, it takes time. Conveniently, challenging parenting situations come up over and over again; your time will be well spent. If you want to know more, please check out the CNVEP's curriculum in my upcoming parenting classes.

Upcoming Events: Nonviolent Communication and Nonviolent Parenting Events and Classes
with Terry and by other trainers. Request an event in your area for you and your friends!

In Santa Ana: Connecting Communication. Free introduction to NVC led by David Esch at The Center Orange County, Friday Jan. 22, 6:00-7:30pm. Six -week Saturday morning practice group to follow if enough will participate. To sign up, call Daniel at 714-953-5428 ext. 119.

In Laguna Beach: Empathy as a Way of Being. 4-day residential retreat led by Mary McKenzie, author of Peaceful Living, January 29 - February 1. See this link for more info.

In Yorba Linda: CNVEP's Nonviolent Parenting.
A 6 week interactive class through the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting, led by Terry. Six Saturdays 10-noon, starting January 30 at First Steps CDC, 22210 La Palma. Couples discount. Childcare available. Register here. Questions? Call 949-400-3379 or email Terry. These classes support CNVEP's outreach and low-income family education. If cost is a barrier, please contact Terry; nobody will be turned away for lack of funds.

In Irvine: Giraffes, Family and Friends Potluck. Calling all Nonviolent Communication practitioners in OC and beyond! Let's gather, enjoy each others' food and company, and share ideas about OC groups for the near future. I've missed you! No formal program; "safe" for non-Giraffe-speaking family and friends. Kids welcome. Saturday February 6, 6pm to whenever. At Terry's home on the UCI campus. RSVP: call 949-400-3379 or email Terry. Let me know about any ideas for groups, and any special dietary needs.

**In Irvine: An Evening with Ruth Beaglehole.**
Ruth is a visionary educator in Nonviolent Childraising, and founding Director of the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting. After a light dinner, Ruth will inspire us with her philosophy of, and experience with, Nonviolent Parenting. At Terry's home on the UCI campus. Free. Tuesday February 16, 6:30-8:30. Call 949-400-3379 or email Terry to reserve a spot. Invite your friends, family, teachers and babysitters!

In Irvine: CNVEP's Nonviolent Parenting.
A 6 week interactive class through the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting, led by Terry. Six Wednesdays 7-9, starting February 24 on the UCI campus. Call Azucena at 213.484.6676 x.311 to register. Couples discount. These classes support CNVEP's outreach and low-income family education. If cost is a barrier, please contact Terry; nobody will be turned away for lack of funds. Questions? Call 949-400-3379 or email Terry.

If you want to go deeper into NVC: Compassionate Leadership 2010. Three five-day retreats and additional teleconferences, led by 5 NVC trainers. Track I: Leading the life you want to live, with yourself and others. Track II: Influencing the world through training, facilitating, and mediating NVC. Enrollment ends soon! See the website for more info.

Check the CNVEP website for other Nonviolent Childraising classes for parents and professionals.

Frist keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.
-Thomas a Kempis

Terry LePage
Open Door Communication
terry@opendoorcommunication.org
www.OpenDoorCommunication.org
949-400-3379

Mission of Open Door Communication
To share Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and related life-serving tools with people from all walks of life in Southern California by:

Offering NVC workshops, mediation, and coaching.
Establishing practice groups and mentoring NVC resource people to multiply impact.
Facilitating supportive relationships among NVC practitioners.

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